it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
