but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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