I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
