I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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