just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I supernannyed him into submission
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
