hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
