I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
