You just made me feel so damn special
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
