Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize