You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
