I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
