so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
