Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
