Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
