just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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