Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
