Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
