Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
