just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
