Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize