That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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