Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
