i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
