my being single is dangerous.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
