wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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