you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
