I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
