he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
