this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
