we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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