I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
