3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize