i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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