Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
