Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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