just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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