We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
