His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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