Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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