party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
