Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
