physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it hurts more in the daytime
I look better un-naked...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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