All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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