1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize