how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
