I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm like, not good at living.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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