I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
They took my balls.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
