dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
