I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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