I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
