do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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