Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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