so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
