Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
