you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
