yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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